Thursday, 23 December 2010

It's that time of year again...

... when we go mad, spend money on all sorts of useless things, eat to excess, and travel from one end of the country to the other in order to do all this. This year has been complicated by what the media would have you believe is a natural disaster on the scale of hell freezing over. It IS true that my pond is suffering under the weight of a couple of inches of ice, and that my attempts to stop the ice closing over have only been partly effective. But the fish, those that are still alive, appear grateful for my efforts.

The Xmas season brings with it all sorts of weird, wonderful, and expensive gadgets, many of which remind me that the words "need" and "want" are in fact synonymous. One gadget I shall not be buying, but which I saw described only this morning, is an iPod dock. No ordinary iPod dock. This one, when not playing music, is a DNA sequencer.

My own DNA is in fine form, although I realize that having hit the big 5-OH this year, my DNA is likely degrading, and moulting nucleotides like a large tabby... Probably, I should have taken the advice I overheard on my recent flight back from Philadelphia (to which I had returned last week just three weeks after my last visit). One of the air stewards (is that what they're called now, or are they instead Aerial Customer Liaison Operatives?) was engaged in earnest discussion with one of the inmates passengers, discussing the pros and cons of different protein supplements, vitamins, and enzymes. The ACLO had been working out seriously for a while now, but wanted to move to the next level, and improve his "definition". His soul mate, sitting next to me, knew more about metabolism, supplements, and body bulk than I thought it was possible to know. It was only when they each took out copies of Muscle & Fitness that I decided it was time for me to accept, perhaps with less pride than I'd like, the dough-like ill-defined mass that is me.

Happy Xmas!